The problem: Guilt
There are commonly feelings of guilt associated with downsizing because it’s often not just your home that you’re selling, but that of your family. “If we are downsizing from our family home, we might feel guilty about how our children, or other family members, might feel about the process,” says Ms Sturmer.
There may also be financial issues to consider. “There can be family dynamics at play, as well as future financial planning and inheritance tax considerations,” says Ms Gregory. “It’s a move that can have a far-reaching impact, and not just for the homeowner, so there are often concerns about ‘making the wrong decision’ or displeasing people.”
The solution:
Keeping your family involved in your decision to downsize should help to reduce any feelings of upset for them, and guilt for you. You can take steps to make sure the family home isn’t forgotten.
“Create memory books compiling photographs, stories, and memories of the family home into a book or digital format that can be shared with all family members,” suggests Ms Kaur. She adds that you might also host a farewell gathering to allow everyone to say goodbye and share their emotions before leaving.
Regarding the financial issues, this could also provide a time to have an open discussion with your family. As already discussed, downsizing can stir up emotions around ageing and coming to the end of a life, but it’s not all negative.
Depending on your circumstances, moving to free up equity could offer a chance for you to give money to your loved ones while you’re still around, see them benefit and even reduce the inheritance tax costs when you’re gone if the gifts fall outside of the seven-year rule.
Finally, there’s a chance it is not actually guilt you’re feeling at all – but grief. “Guilt is an emotion that is often related to loss and grief,” says Ms Kaur. “Just because you are feeling guilty, it doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong or making a mistake – the guilt could be you grieving the loss of the house.”
The problem: Christmas
Perhaps surprisingly, Christmas often has an important part to play when it comes to the psychology of this move. Zoopla’s research found that 27pc of those living in a home that’s larger than they really need were concerned they wouldn’t be able to host Christmas if they downsized – even though only a third of those hosted Christmas every year.
“What does not hosting Christmas actually mean? It means no longer fulfilling their role as head of the family and that’s the part that can be difficult to accept,” says Ms Gregory.
“Christmas is one day of the year,” adds Ms Kaur. “You need to think about the impact that living in your current property is going to have on you for the remaining 364 days. Is it really worth it?”
The solution:
First, make a list of the things you enjoy about hosting Christmas and whether these things can still be done if you were to go to someone else’s home instead. “See if you can still incorporate some of the things you enjoy, such as a certain tradition or being responsible for the pudding,” says Ms Gregory.
Alternatively, Ms Kaur says there are ways to remain the “host” without staying in your original property: “If you are worried about hosting, you can always hire a home, cottage, or bigger space to host.”
