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A Future Headline: Biff’s Investing Firm Cleans Up With AI


It’s only a matter of time before a story with that headline, or something like it, appears in the financial press. Recent stories in the news indicate that elite investment professionals have purportedly had astounding success in trading securities for short-term profits by using artificial intelligence (AI) programs to chart the course of investments. This may well be the future, because computers can do everything faster than human brains.

Somewhere, in his parents’ basement, the next Sam Bankman-Fried — let’s call him Biff, after the blowhard from the movie Back to the Future* — is using an AI program to determine which securities to buy and when to buy and sell them. He founded Biff’s Investment Management, and he’s making money hand over fist, not just for himself, but for his very happy clients. Until he doesn’t. It could be that Biff’s AI program wasn’t as foolproof as he thought. It could be that Biff’s finger slipped, and he shorted a lot more stock than his AI program told him to sell. It could be that a disgruntled troll in Biff’s back office just made a series of blunders.

Biff is a fraud





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